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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?